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What to Do When You Keep Fighting Self-Compassion

What to Do When You Keep Fighting Self-Compassion

Recovery from addiction is hard enough without doling out the hits on yourself. It may be hard to look at yourself with eyes of compassion when you realize all the damage done from addiction, but under the layers of pain are also years of hurt and trauma that need attending to (which requires an enormous amount of self-compassion). When you have more compassion for yourself, you are more likely to be able to extend it to others.

Why Self-Compassion Matters

Compassion is a sort of kindness towards yourself, a mindfulness and sense of connectivity to yourself and others. Even through hard-fought struggles, you can still be compassionate with yourself in realizing you are only human. One of the biggest challenges is deciding whether you want to be kind to yourself or not, even when it feels the world has beaten you pu. People who are used to constant self-criticism often erupt in anger and have intensely negative views even when trying to be kinder to themselves. It is almost like the sense of self has become to invested in personal inadequacy that the ‘worthless self’ fights for survival, to be heard.

Pushing Through

A strongly held opinion you have about yourself may contradict popular beliefs about how you should see yourself so you tend to dismiss the idea you don’t like. It is like applying a more strict standard of proof. You punch holes in the argument because you know you disagree with the conclusion. You overlook anything not fitting your preconceived idea. Sometimes it is a form of self-flagellation, or beating on yourself, just because you don’t know how else to approach yourself anymore. Pushing through is about seeking a newer, better way of being. This requires a certain becoming, a growth, that takes place only when you start exercising compassion towards yourself. Until you stop believing you lack fundamental value, you will not begin to move towards self-compassion.

Breaking Free

Security does not come from fear, it comes from feeling satisfied, an internal joy, that helps you feel more at ease and grounded. Even if you may hold some loosely based fears around money, losing your house, health, or something else, you likely can still be compassionate to yourself and not so hard on the things you cannot change. What it takes to break the cycle is accepting yourself, warts and all. Proving to yourself that you are worthy, you are amazing, and no matter what mistakes you made, you can still thrive in recovery without worrying about whether you measure up to your own standards. You are deserving of love and self-compassion, and yes, lots of grace along the way.

Practicing self love may feel hard after you struggle with addiction and the accompanying mindset. It’s time to release yourself of that and move into a space of greater compassion for yourself and others. We are here to help you integrate compassion, peace, and joy into your life post addiction.  Call us 24/7 at our toll-free number: 866-294-9401