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Learn How to Express Needs Without Being “Needy”

Learn How to Express Needs Without Being “Needy”

Each time you think about what your needs are, don’t confuse them with being ‘needy.’ When a person is needy, they are more or less trying to attract someone to them by demonstrating how much they need their help, money, time, and other things. There may be pain and confusion involved as it can start to wear the other person down. If your needs are unreasonable and hard to meet, other people may stop trying to help you, leaving you feeling isolated and alone. Learn how to express your needs in a safe, balanced, and healthy way.

Know Your Needs

Sorting out what you want versus what you need is important. You might want to text with your loved one all day but if they are working and not able to meet your needs, you can start to feel put off and hurt. Maybe find a time instead to check in during the day that works for both of you and accommodate their schedule, too. After all, it is not just about you.

Tend Your Wants

Once you sort out your needs and wants, you can tend to them without expecting others to meet them for you. You can remind someone you need support and reach out to express how you feel, but reminding yourself things are okay is not always enough. Don’t expect someone to meet all your needs if you aren’t meeting them yourself.

Use “I feel” Statements

It is always a good idea to express yourself using “I feel” statements. This helps you prevent the receiver from feeling attacked and becoming defensive. If you need a coworker to stop talking to you in the office then start the conversation by stating why and allow for understanding about where you are coming from.

Be Clear and Precise

When you express a need, be sure you know what you are asking for and how to get what you want. The more clear you can be, the more precise you are likely to be when getting what you want. The more realistic the request, the more likely the person is going to be able to meet it for you.

No Take Backs

If you are feeling confident in your request, don’t take it back. If you express a need the receiver did not hear or take well, don’t worry about taking it back so you seem less needy. Keep trying until you feel you have been heard and work on how to get your needs met in a positive way.

There are many ways to get your needs met. Even if you struggle with communication, there are always two sides to a conversation. Don’t lose hope, there is help on the other side. If you struggle with addiction and that is making it hard to communicate what you need, call us. We will help you develop a recovery program that supports your needs. Call us 24/7 at our toll-free number: 866-294-9401