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How Do I Stop Seeming Like a Jerk to My Friends and Family?

How Do I Redeem Myself with Friends and Family?

We all acted irrational and selfish when we were battling our addictions. When you think about how to be more considerate to friends and family, and to regain their trust, it may seem difficult to face the fact that you may have mistreated or acted out against people you love. Especially if you battled addiction, you may have fought a lot of challenges to be able to get into recovery, but it does not mean their opinion of you will change overnight, since your behavior may linger in their memories. You can redeem yourself, but it takes time and some thoughtful engagement to get there.

Be a Good Example

During active addiction, you likely did not have your head on straight, nor did you consider your priorities. It was all about taking drugs or drinking alcohol and less about doing what was needed to keep relationships running smoothly. You may have struggled with anxiety, depression, anger management issues, and other challenges along with addiction that made you seem like a fairly inconsiderate person, if not downright difficult to be around. Sometimes you get really selfish, too, and that can put people off. The best way to start seeming like less of a ‘jerk’ is to embrace being a good example to others. If you are part of a family, you likely have kids, cousins, nephews, nieces, and other people who look up to you as an example. You may also be working in an environment where people depend on you to be a good employee and example to them. It is important for you to keep that in mind when rebuilding your reputation. Be the person you want them to remember.

Admit You’re Not Perfect

Even if you’re far from perfect, as most of us are, it is hard to admit. You can be selfish, inconsiderate, and not nice to be around sometimes. You’re human and it’s understandable to make mistakes or be a bit of a bonehead sometimes, we all go through these cycles. That is a good jumping off point to admitting you’re not perfect. Accept your all-too-human flaws, and resolve to be the best you can be each day.

Think About Others

Consider the feelings, wants, and needs of others. Try to see from their perspective. If you think what others are going through, you can see what they might want if they were in your situation. The important thing is that you’re making the effort. Consider the side of you many friends and family witnessed when you were battling your addiction and have patience with them as they learn to trust you again.

Practice, Practice, Practice

The art of compassion and kindness does not always come naturally to people, it is something we have to work at and learn. If you are struggling to learn how to do this, it helps to think about times when you suffered and how people helped walk you through it. The little things are just as big as the larger moments, the bigger challenges when people met you face to face. Think about little ways you can practice kindness and compassion like cooking for a loved one, cleaning up for someone else, emailing kind words to a co-worker, lending a helping hand to a friend, or listening to others’ problems. When you act in this way, it will help rebuild your image to others and demonstrate you are working on bringing kindness and compassion into your daily life.

Focusing on compassion and kindness are always good things. Whether you are seeking help for addiction from drugs or alcohol, we are here to support you with tools and resources that teach you how to be more kind to yourself and others. Recovery is a lifelong journey. We help you prepare for it. Call us 24/7 at our toll-free number: 866-294-9401