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It is Possible to Experience Healthy Closure: Here’s How

It is Possible to Experience Healthy Closure: Here’s How

When you think of ‘relationship closure,’ you might think about tying up loose ends in a relationship or focusing on letting go of something from the past. There are different ways to experience closure, not all of them healthy. Learn some tips for going through the experience in a way that helps you heal.

Why Closure Matters

Having closure is a human desire to want to put an end to one chapter of your life when another is beginning. Because we all know that at some point it can all end, it seems people want to bring to a close any loose threads that may exist in life with relationships or otherwise and give them a healthy space to rest in our memories. Human relationships are quite complex for many reasons:

  • Acknowledging the important places you spent time in, and the people you met, matters to you. Even if the relationship ends, it can help to put an end to it for good.
  • Agreeing to have a humane, compassionate end to a relationship can support healing in the future but it may reopen wounds for the other person
  • Saying goodbye for good can be quite liberating. It can free everyone involved to start the next chapter of life ‘free of chains.’
  • There is inherent value in rituals that bring closure to circumstances and situations. There is an innate desire for ritual, or a marking of an important occasion that helps formalize the end of a relationship.

Key Elements of Bringing Closure

When you seek to bring closure to a relationship, there are some healthy barriers and boundaries to hold when going into the situation. If you seek a conversation and meeting, here are some ways to proceed that may help:

  • State out loud the intention behind having a ‘closure conversation,’ even if it is difficult but necessary and useful for you
  • Set healthy parameters around what you will discuss and what is off limits. This limits both people to making it about an official goodbye talk that helps you both move forward long after the conversation ends.
  • Feel free to reminisce but keep it focused on the realization you have moved on from each other even though you had good times in the past
  • Stay away from negating the other person or discussing their negative qualities and discussing what went wrong in the relationship so as to avoid leaving an open wound after the conversation ends

There can be challenges to finding healthy closure if someone in the conversation wants to pursue a relationship further or if the other person refuses to meet to bring closure. If you agree to meet and it ends up in a fight over old issues, it may bring up more problems than it solves and leave you or the other person feeling raw, vulnerable, and hurt. Give yourself some space to decide if it is worth providing a conversation towards closure with someone or inviting someone you want closure with to have conversation. If you can keep healthy boundaries, it may help you move forward with your life. Otherwise it may be best to leave well enough alone (and save your sanity in the process).

There are many ways to seek closure in relationships. If you are struggling to recover from addiction, it can help you to seek closure at the right place and time when you are sober and clean for awhile. This gives you space to think about it first. We can help you get to a place where you feel confident to do this and find closure in other areas of your life impacted by addiction. Call us 24/7 at our toll-free number: 866-294-9401