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Drop the Complaints and Find Your Positive Side Again

Drop the Complaints and Find Your Positive Side Again

Everyone has ‘that friend,’ the one who seems to always find something to complain about. They blame their feelings, reactions, and behaviors on other people. Maybe you even live with (or love) someone who does this. People complain for a few reasons, but mostly because it is their way of trying to connect with others. They simply don’t realize complaining is a turn off to most people. Find some tips on how to drop the complaints and find positivity in life again.


People complain by connecting with each other. Complaints can bond people, often over political stances, differing views, or just venting frustration and anger at ‘the way things are.’ It can feel good to unload rather than carry negative thoughts and feelings around, but it can actually become a bad habit over time that turns people away. It helps to be mindful of where your thoughts go throughout the day to decide if they are going into negative territory or are actually proactive, positive thoughts.

Make the Change

It can be hard to make changes necessary to switch those negative thoughts to positive ones. Complaints often do the following:

  • Focus on ‘don’ts’ rather than ‘dos’
  • Play into worst case scenario thinking (i don’t want to drink but i can’t stop, i’ll never be able to measure up, so I cope by drinking…)
  • Focus on what’s not working and refuse to see the other side

Complaints don’t actually stop what’s happening from taking place, or change anything at all. Social media is a good example of this. Certain things are beyond our control (weather, traffic, other people’s choices) but if we are to focus on what’s working, maybe we can start making positive changes.

Shift the Patterns

The brain has an amazing ability to shift itself into new patterns when given the chance. Here’s some ways to help retrain your brain:

  • Focus on what you can control (attitude and actions)
  • Give yourself a pity party pass for 5 minutes, then move on
  • List what’s working for you in all areas of your life
  • Offer gratitude to yourself and others
  • Make positive changes towards making things happen
  • Surround yourself with positive, forward thinking people, including those who are further down the road than yourself

There is a time to complain, and a time to do something about it. Perhaps it is time to finally put on that positivity hat and start making changes that will help your life become better.

The Serenity Recovery Center realizes it can feel like moving mountains to take just one step towards recovery, but it is worth it. When you’re tired of complaining and ready to take action, call us. You do not want to miss out on the chance to reinvent your life in recovery. We are available 24/7 at our toll-free number: 844-339-6964. Call now.